梦醒了

就像做了一场梦一样，醒来后，什么都不是真的，什么都没有。回到了现实的生活，还是自己一个人面对，一个人承受。在梦里，分不清对错，分不清真假。 在梦里，所有的事情都很完美，所有的温柔也都特别的温柔。现在却只能回味。 随着时间，随着回忆，一切都会慢慢的淡去。

梦醒了，一切都好残酷。。。

It felt so right and so wrong at the same time.....
He felt so familiar and unfamiliar.....
So many old memories running thru and new thoughts at the same time.

Can't believe it's happening but glad it is. Haven't felt this way for a long time.... I seems to have forgotten how it felt.

Missing it... missing him..... it seems to come back all at once. Not sure.... confuse.... undecided..... unsure....

But happy i think.....

是否还清一切？是这样吗？

Day with Sunshine, Sea and Sand

Stealing some time away from work and other matters, I went to Sentosa with Julia and Kel. Haven't feel this relax for quite a while. =) Kel have always wanted to go take some photos at Sentosa and just nice Julia and me are free. So we got ourselves ready and off we went.

Sentosa have changed a lot since I went there in my much younger days. The IR construction and other hotel constructions are everywhere. Since it is so different now, we were a bit unsure where to go. So the 3 of us spent a lot of time taking the tram here and there.

We didn't do much. We went for lunch at Coastes which was where Jas and I went when we stayed at the Siloso Resort for our anniversary. I think I'm now hook on their chicken wing. It's very nice!!! serve with Belachan chilli. Wah lau, i wanted to ta bao the chilli back sia..... After that we just hang out and one of the beach pub and while Kel took professional pics with his SLR, Julia and I took mediocre pictures with my handphone. Lolx! But hor, my new handphone LG Renoir the quality of the pics not bad lah.... Proofs as follow....... (hehehhee)

On the beach tram

Julia posing for the camera and me trying to take some artistic shots.

We MMS this photo to Angela who is busy working with the messaging. "Are you at work? We are at the Beach!!!" just to irritate her. hahahhaha!
And proof that the 3 of us were there.....

On this Night....

How it accumulate to this wasn't a surprise..... Just like any other human being there is only so much he can take. Tonight I saw him lost, not knowing what to do, unable to make any proper decisions. He just wants an outlet to disappear and not care.

Me.... I can't take the suppressing pressure. I cannot decide in or out. I said all I can, in exchange, he replied that "if only I had said all these earlier" It's always the question of "if only". I blame him for not understanding me enough to know that I wouldn't walk away. But I didn't consider that I might hv took it for granted tat he would understand. 2 words - Communication Breakdown. Just like any others.........

在不知不觉当中，我已经习惯每晚都有他在我身边。就算只是彼此躺着什么也不说。。。 对我来说都是一种安慰。
昨晚，他不在，我是空虚的。我是害怕的。

不想再留不住了。我应该承受不了。。。

I can feel the impending doom.

Will I ride through it or will I fall into it?

Blank.....

See no light at the moment.

I finally pass my driving. On the fourth time.......
Looking damn forward to getting my car.

I'm still alive....

Just dun feel like writing. Nothing happens... nothing to update. Can't say i'm happy, can't say i'm not.
Probably am in a state of inert.
That's all.

Reading

I have always enjoyed reading from young. In between the words, I find another world. The enjoyment of reading is probably enhanced by my ability in imagination. Reading a story seems like watching a movie in my mind, but better, because I can have the characters and scenery look exactly how I want them to be. This makes reading even more enjoyable.

This is why this few weeks I have been fervently trying to finish the 4 books in the Twillight saga. I could picture so perfectly the characters in there. Maybe because I have seen the movie. But somehow the book describes them so much better.

I have just finish the fourth book and I really love it to the max!!

大年初一

就在大年初一，一个新年的到来，也是某些关系和感情的结束。这也只能说是误会拖延太久，到了一个无法再挽回的结果。

结束了。

心痛的只有一位可怜的老人家。

Not looking forward to CNY this year. Sianz!
The only good thing is that I dun nd to work for the entire week.

Catching up session

Had a great evening with Jasmine. (She missed my wedding dinner cause she was stuck in Amsterdam.... heavy fog.) Met her up for dinner. Serina was suppose to come but she forgot!!!! Hahaha! Looks like we need to arrange another "catch up session"

Jasmine's still looking great. Good to know she is doing well. We chatted on everyone we know and update each other on how we are doing. It always feels good to stay in touch.

I got a backlog of many many previous entries and photos that I wanted to post up. Feeling lazy about doing it. Not sure when I will actually post it all up. Someday when I feel better...... =p

He had only led a good life for the first 7 years.... After that, his life has been hell. Yet he had chosen to stick by the man whom have given him all the trouble.
Finally he has learnt to let go a bit. Frustrating for him, but I'm sure life ahead will be easier for him.

I know he is sad to see his father go. But given the current circumstances, that is the best option for all of us. Just a bit more to go..... just a short way more to go.

We can make it.

最后的冲刺

I'm at the final stage..... Confirming the guests.... and then I just wait for the day to come..... and be over. =p

Grumbling....

As the date for the wedding dinner draws nearer, there's more and more things to be done and to get ready.

Sometimes I feel that it is freaking suffocating. Why must do so many things? Part of me just wanna get it over and done with. Probably when it is over, I'll be able to breathe easier.

It doesn't really matter much to me. I'm considered married already so does it matter if the dinner takes place at all? Haiz..... So much to do just for a 仪式. And the worst part is the high cost. I can buy a few more LVs and Gucci with wat I am spending on it ah. TMD!

Missing

If I were to go missing one day....
Would you know where to look for me?

我爱下雨天

下雨天的晚上，是我的最爱。
外面冷冷的天气，躺在暖暖的被窝里，觉得特别的舒服。
这样的晚上也是我最爱回忆的时候。。。。 回忆着过去的快乐与不快乐。沉井在我想要的时光，不被打扰。

Argh!!!!

The hardest part to organise a wedding is the GUEST LIST! Damn irritating!

Just came back from watching "画皮" with Jas. Eh.... won't say it's a very nice show lah, but ok to watch. Entertaining enough I guess.

Somehow I felt very touched when the male lead was suppose to kill his own wife cause everyone thought his wife was the "妖精". At that point of time when everyone was saying she had to be killed, he said, "她是妖精，我一定会杀。可我身为她丈夫，怎么能放弃她？" Dunno y, at this point my tears started flowing. Still he had to stab her to her death.

When he faced the real fox demon and wanted to commit suicide, he ask tat fox demon to save his wife. And upon saving the wife to tell her that, "我不是个好丈夫。我爱你(refering to the fox demon，可我已经有了佩蓉。" I feel wierd here.... He fell in love with another woman, but he did not betray his wife physically. Does that constitute as betrayal still? Emotional betrayal? Which is worse. Betraying the partner physically or emotionally? Was it only responsibilty that stopped him from being with the other woman?

Something to ponder about...... hmm.....