我很累。。。觉得好无力。

全身没力到我完全不能动。这感觉好像我所有的坚持都没有了。

Gen's Wedding - Random Thoughts

Just got back from Gen's wedding.
Exhausted..... physically & mentally......

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As I was talking to a girl I met just today who was also a "sister" for Gen, I came to a sudden realisation that I have known Gen for 10yrs already. Known her when I was straight out of Sec 4.... while I did part time job to help pay for my shopping. Known her when I was only 16..... Wow! 16yrs old seems like such a long long time ago for me. And those few years was probably the best time of my life and was also the period of time where I grow up the quickest from just a girl to woman. We went thru it together in a way and thru lots.....

Now 10yrs later, both of us are "Mrs". Though probably not quite the way I thought we would be. Lolx! But nonetheless, I am really, truly, happy for her. Seeing her getting married, going through the rites, seeing her smile, laugh, love and be loved is just like seeing my own sister getting married. It's hard to describe the kind of feeling I have for her...... just.... happy....

Congratulations, my dear Gen! =)

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Randoms:-

- Met Sherry who is a friend of Gen. She knew that I got married. Asked me a question that got me stunned for a while. She asked, "If I remembered correctly, your husband is Eddy rite?" Er....... Er.....

- Not sure since when I have quit drinking. To put it more correctly, I should say I have quit getting drunk..... Gave up wanting to be drunk. Dun wan to drink myself silly anymore and do silly things and have silly thoughts. I rather face the reality in my most sober mind, thus I quit!

- Mildly disappointed that some people are not gonna be able to make it to my wedding. One had to go overseas for work while another just say he not coming. Bleh! :(

有情人终成眷属

I'm so happy.... happy for a pretty bride. =)

Attended Esther's wedding just now. I must say she is one of the prettiest bride that I have ever seen. She already looks lovely on normal days, not to say stunning on this special day of hers. Her wedding is at Grand Shanghai. Very nice place with a very nice feel. There is even a lady who sings all the old old chinese songs the whole night through and she's real good.

The beautiful couple made a dramatic entrance or what we usually call as the first march in. They actually rode a Harley in to the music of "上海滩". Their 2nd march in was just as drama. Esther wore a short cheongsam and she held a feathery fan while walking around. Music of " Ja Jambo". Really to the mood ah. Their friends, brothers and sisters were all walking around dress to the theme oso. All of them was so sporting.

While they were on stage, doing their toasts and acceding to the funny requests like dance and kiss, I looked at Esther and couldn't help but feel my eyes starting to tear. Suddenly, I recall all the things that Esther, me and Shirley had done before. Like, rushing projects at my house, going out clubbing, taking photos etc.... Unknowingly, we had known each other for quite some time and went thru a stage of growing up together. It's heartening to know that she has found her happiness. Really hope for her to be able to be this blissful forever.... God bless.

Esther is another person whom I feel has the 傻人有傻福 kind. To me she is always a bit blur, but puts in a lot of effort and a with simple wishes in life. For such people, I always feel that God seems to save the best things for them. Among friends, Esther & Shirley have always been rather special to me. Maybe cause since young, I never had much close female friends. In sec sch, most of my friends whom I feel I can relate to are guys. in poly, other than Carissa, Esther and Shirley are the ones whom I feel totally comfortable with. They are nothing like those 小姐小姐pattern whereby a bit a bit oso not happy. They are always frank, without pretence. Hence, I have always hold high regards for them. Am just really happy that both of them are happily married. Next would be my turn......

Time passes.... we are all in our next stage of life..... let's all 加油 and life beautifully, happily ever after. =p

Me Still Alive

Haha! Did a disappearing act for a couple of weeks. Been lazy to update lah.

Other than lazy, I buzy oso lor. Busy watching, "命中注定我爱你". Another of those Taiwanese idol drama..... nice mah.... Like the storyline. But as usual while watching such shows, I'll always think to myself that, "In real life, dun have this kinda romance one lah". Lolx!

But still, I like to immerse myself in such a storyline, in the other world, once in a while. 人要有幻想吗。。。Hehe!

Other than watching show, been busy with work and the wedding lor. Haiz... very fast leh. Now Sept already. Another about 3 more mths or so and it's D DAY. Actually I can't wait for it to be over cause there's so much things to prepare, very tedious leh. And worse still, spend a lot of money. =p
Anyway, once it's done, it's like another tick in one of life's "to-do list". And it's time to move on to the next.....

Oh.... by the way, failed my driving test. Retake on 30 Oct. Hope i make it this time. =p

在我睡不着的晚上，还是会想，“他最近好吗？日子过得怎样？会不会寂寞。。。”

他偶尔会想起我吗？

我的 Tiffany

My this year's birthday present is also my first Tiffany!

Jas 心血来潮 decided to buy me my birthday present earlier. After my driving lesson, he ask me to go down to Orchard to meet him to choose. He say I can choose either a Gucci Bag or a Tiffany bracelet ( i hinted to have a bracelet for birthday this year, but i no mention Tiffany leh).

Of course the first thing that i went to see is Gucci lor. Saw a bag i quite like, but was over 1k. i find too ex so we went to Tiffany lor. He chose a Atlas serise bracelet but i scared will slip and drop very easily so in the end I chose their new series of charm bracelet. =)

The bracelet with the heart locket.

Kel oso bought one for Julia..... for her bday too. hehehe! After that, we went to eat at Gyu Kaku with Kel and Angela. My 2nd time there in the same week. I think I'm gonna stay away from so much meat for a while. But the pork belly is really yummy!

Happy Weekend for me! =p

At Clarke Quay drinking coffee with the usual gang

她说，“爱人也可以很寂寞。。。”

我想。。。 对的。。。 爱人会寂寞，因为没有人会了解有多爱。没有人知道那样的爱是怎样的爱。只有自己知道和明白， 所以寂寞。。。

This is wat I'm gonna work for

My sis took her driving test on Sat.... but failed....

Suddenly, I feel it won't be easy for me to be able to pass at first time also.....

BUT.... I want to pass fast. Cause I is damn like the Blue Swift. Went for servicing with Jac for her Swift Sport today. So went showroom to see the normal Swift oso. It comes with leather seat which is wat i want oso. I like... I like.... I wan! :/



Anyone wanna buy me? My final practical test in on 27 Aug 08.

寂寞。。。

为何寂寞？没有了陪伴，还是因为没有了爱情？
拥有的时候，就不寂寞吗？

还是在拥有的时候，想要更多，而失去了？

一个人，也许能让你更清楚你要的是什么。想一想吧。。。

p.s: I dunno if he will read the above. or rather i dunno if he will understand it at all. Lolx! but still, if he does, i hope he'll be able to get wat i'm conveying. =)

Just came back from an amazing wedding dinner. An eurasian style wedding dinner of Gerad & Aisha. Gerad is actually Jas' cousin. His dad is Chinese while his mum is Eurasian. And he married a malay girl. So the entire event is kinda interesting.

The wedding montage shows their Malay wedding which was held last week. The dinner started off like a typical Chinese wedding dinner even with the "Yum Seng" part. At the end of it was the interesting one. The part where the Eurasians love. Music and Dance!

There was a live band and they played all the 80s band music and Jas' relatives (including his dad) were dancing. All his aunties and uncles very sporting. At the sound of music everyone joined it. It's really a wedding that I've never attended before. Plus it's in the outdoors, it makes the entire atmosphere even better. The lights, the wind..... Everything. It's at Fort Canning by the way..... Super nice!

Oh... ya... of course the dance floor was "opened" by Gerad and Aisha, the star of the evening. So sweet!

Jas keeps saying this is the Eurasian style wedding so I suppose I might have to make provisions for it for ours too. But ours is on a Sunday, so there might not be a lot of people who would stay for the dance segment. Oh well.... see how the planning goes.

His relatives are all so nice towards me. They will keep asking me how I am, whether I'm enjoying myself etc. Endless praises also... hahhaa! There is really a very big difference being part of an Eurasion family. =)

Lastly, Congrats to Gerad & Aisha! =)

Another process of Wedding

As I am counting down to the wedding dinner this year end, we are getting stuff done along the way. Another thing that we have got done is our photoshoot. =)

I have always loved to see wedding photos and always thought that those shoots will be so fun. Finally last Thursday was my turn. It was so tiring! Smile & posing sure isn't easy. I keep laughing at Jas saying that day was probably the one day he smiled the most. Lolx!


When we got to the beach, he had to carry me and piggy back me. By the end of it all, I was tired with headache and Jas, tired to the max as well. Now, we just hope the photos turn out great!


Preview.....

Picture a bit blur. But i love this pic....

Me in my actual day gown. Getting ready for next set of photo-taking

Jas & Me in between shoots

My Favourite Gown

Jas took this while I was posing for the camera man, Eric

Waiting anxiously for the photos to be ready. Proabably end July, early Aug. =p

他们的主题曲

I just realise that I have come to associate songs with my ex bfs. That is to say, when I hear of a certain song, it will remind me of a certain person.....

That's Why You Go Away - Jacky
This song always reminds me of the time when coincidentally we both had a camping event in school. Somehow this song was always playing during that time.

情书 - Silie
I borrowed this CD by Jacky Cheung from him and probably that's when I knew him better and more than just friends

I Believe I Can Fly - Donny
For the obvious reasons that the song was for a cartoon on basketball and he seems to like tat song a lot.

When You Believe - Eddy
The song tat we both love from Prince of Egypt..... and more...

Amor Infinitus - Kelvin
Not sure why also. But everytime I hear this song it reminds me of him. Probably he played it a lot.

Come to think of it, there isn't any song that reminds me of Jas. Probably there isn't a need to be reminded of him since I see him almost everyday...... Maybe....

抱着他的感觉非常真实。。。。
我要这真实的感觉而不是那种在下一秒就会彻底破碎的希望。
踏实。。。 过得踏踏实实才是我的幸福。

另外一个他。。。
在我心里。。。
永远消失。。。

不存在

我已不再知道他是谁了。。。。

明明是如此靠近，却又是如此的遥远。心灵上的距离，比实际的距离差得更多，更多。多到我都不知道如何拉近我们两个人的距离。

失望。。。 很希望他有一个很好的解释。可是，怎么想，都不知道怎样的解释才算是好的。
不明白。。。 我不明白。。。

The whole thing sounds so unreal. Like in a dream.... It feels so wierd.

Jus wierd...

HIM

Even after these years, my attraction to him still stays
I still love to see him smile, see him laugh
Especially the mischevious glint in his eyes

I love the way he looks at me,
they way he touches my hair
And how he always makes me laugh

I had once been indecisive...
We haven't had it easy, but he has never back down
We had our share of pain and argument
But his words always seems to make it all right

He is the man I love...
He is the man I chose....
He is the man I walked down the aisle with....

I was watching a special report on the China earthquake just now and couldn't help but feel my stomach churn and heart throbbing and aching. The report was on the last 79hrs of a man who was trapped under the rubbles resulting from the earthquake.

While he was trapped underneath the heavey rubbles, he kept repeating that he cannot die for he still has a wife who just got pregnant. As time passes, while they are trying all means and ways to rescue him, we can see all the various reactions from him. He tries to stay awake by talking even when what u was talking doesn't make any sense.

Finally after 70 over hours, he was released from those god damn stones but he has lost conciousness. While on the way to medical point, he died....

I can imagine the heartpain of all who desperately tried to save him. He had given all the rescuers a hope. A hope that someone is gonna survive. A hope that yet another person has been saved, but that he didn't make it still in the end. At the side, we can hear a woman reporter crying, asking him to hang on. Asking him to wake up for he himself had said he couldn't die as he still has a pregnant wife waiting for him.

I.... I was half hoping he would wake up suddenly and say he's alright. Just like how drama serials or movies always show. But as I watched, I knew that is nt a drama or movie I am watching. What is in front of me is something very real in another country. So real that my heart felt part of it died when the man died.

I have been avoiding reading the news on the earthquakes for fear of how I would feel.. I know all around there are sad stories, sad true stories which I know I will be affected upon reading them. There was the reportas on the baby who was alive whom when they found the baby was suckling on her dead mother's breast. The last thing the mother could do for the baby. And those on how teachers hang on to their students even till their very last breath to save their lives. The rescue team was crying while they had to saw the hands off the teachers to get the students out. These reports......can really tear someone's heart apart.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to blog this down.... and I'm not sure what I am trying to express. Maybe this is how I can release the heartwrenching mood in me. And to remind myself that I am lucky or rather all who are able to read this that we are lucky. We are luckier than what the people are facing in China.

Though things do not go our way in life most of the time, but at the very least, we have a roof above our head, loved ones beside us, not affected by natural disasters.

Probably we shld reconsider the priorities in our life, and how we judge things. We are already better.....

今天心情有点郁闷。。。

虽然，早已知道会有这一天的到来，不过，在心里还是有小小的盼望会有一些转机。没想到，反而却还比想象中发生的还要快。

这个选择也许对彼此都好，可是，总觉得非常可惜。一段破碎的婚姻，是没有一个女人想要有的结果。Jas 说，“要离婚，就不应该结婚。”我说，“那里会有人预料到会要离婚的？谁都不想的。。。”

在要求完美的思想里，是不能接受一段不再完美的爱情。试过了，挣扎过，最后也许就只有放手是最好的？好难的一个决定，还是说出了口。痛。。。

有人劝说，“既然有勇气作这个决定，为什么没有勇气再从新开始？”我觉得，这是没有答案的。没有对错，这就是爱情最难的一个部分。

结束了。。。。。。。？

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On another note, I passed my final theory test. Have started taking lesson on Wed. One step nearer to getting my licence. Will be starting my position as Business Development Executive on Mon. A new role....... Exciting? Exciting.....

Taken by my new Camera Phone

Hehe! New phone! That stupid Nokia phone that i had been using dieded.... That one really machiam like toy phone leh. An entire piece of plastic just drop out. Damn sianz. One day gotta reset dunno how many thousand times.

Anyway, tat's Viewty I got! Like the camera and can do editing by writing on it. The only thing is I nt use to touch screen phone. So sms very super slow....

Well... till i get use to it then.

A Different Weekend

This weekend is exceptionally different and need a bit of getting use to. Why leh? Cause no more vehicle. Jas last day was on Thurs, so he returned the vehicle on Thurs as well. So this entire weekend, the both of us have to travel by public transport lor.

Hahaha! After so many years, Jas really need a lot of getting used to in taking, train and bus. Lolx! I didn't make it easy for him on Sat also when we had to go all the way to Peninsular Plaza to a tailor to custom make a suit for our wedding. Cause hor, Meow, Jac and Adrian just came back from Bangkok, and bought a couple t-shirt for us. I made Jas wear together with me on Sat. haha! it's nt really those super lovey dovey kind mah, so I feel quite ok. Hehhee! Angela help us take a photo while waiting for train at AMK.

After 25yrs.... my first time wearing couple tee... Last time always laugh at others.... but aiya.. for the fun or it mah. =p

Talking about the suit that Jas cusomt made... It was quite affordable. Hopefully it comes out good. Highly recommended de. At Peninsular, on the same level, there were many tailor shops but none was as crowded as his. Just waiting to be served, we had to wait for 1hr. But that tailor, Daniel, he gave quite good recommendations. Keep saying Jas got very nice V shape figure. hahahaa! And wanna do in cut to show off his figure. FItting is on 3 May, by then can see how it looks roughly le.

Date for my photoshoot has also been fixed le. Really looking forward to it. Can wear nice nice, take nice nice pic. Working very hard on dieting now.... Wanna lose another couple of kgs before the shoot. Like tat nicer mah.....

Tml is Jas first day at his new job, I pray he will be able to do well and cope with it. Like tat, everything will be smoother for the 2 of us.

大家加油！