It's over.....

Finally woke up from a nightmare.... or was it real..... It all felt so true. The hurt and the disappointment. It must have been real.....

What started off as a nice evening, turned out to be the worst day of my life. No... I should say one of the worse days in life. (I had many)

Had butterflies in my stomach the entire day. For so many times, I thought of backing out from the gathering. It jus didn't feel right. Should have listen to my gut feel. I went anyway in the end.

I made sure to dress my best and to keep my composure and I did... only for the early part of the evening. I chatted and smiled like we were all old friends. But i felt the distance between us. He was keeping a distance.... and as the night goes on, all the pretendence was wearing me out. We waited for Gen to finish with her work before we proceeded to Indochine for some drinks. It was a nice place actually, jus to chill out. I ordered a Mohitos. Nice! It tasted sweet with a bitter aftertaste, jus like how I was feeling.... Finished it fast and felt the effect of the drink. I ordered another beer. Slowly, the past keep crawling into my head. Gen said, "We'll all go WhyNot later k? He will go as long as Von go." Somehow, that sentence pierced thru my heart, cause I know that is nt the case.

Whatever happens after that was all a blur.... I went thru the night in tears... I didn't know what I want and I didn't know how to stop myself acting the way I was. I jus didn't want him to leave there and then. I almost felt my heart stop when he walk away leaving me there. Then again, I know he had to.

Lucky for me, Jac, Adrian and Meow came and save the day. I know Jac held me and let me cry telling me he dun deserve me.... But the cold hard truth is I dun deserve him. Not much pple knows wat went on before. All I can say was, I made a terrible mistake and I've never regretted that badly before.

Thank you Jac, Thank you Adrian, Thank you Meow for flying all the way down. It was a horrible sight. Really glad that u guys were there for me. It's great to know there's friends who care.

she has a stirrin heart dat no1 noes.
swayin in tears,i felt her love on the cliff tonite
oh gal..y do u yearn tis much
of a love u can nvr reach

That was the poem that Jac wrote. I inspired her. Lol. She potrayed the scenario so well. Tears jus cannot stop reading it. She's so talented..... =)

I had a good nite's sleep... and now it's time to start all over again. God pls give me the courage to move on.... I need it.....


P.S: Bro Samuel... If you're reading this, I wanna say sorry for spoiling the evening and thank you for your support. You're rite, it has been 3 years and it's time to let go.