suffocated....
can't breathe.....
fading away..........

Sometimes I feel so empty.....

不想继续了。
是时候清醒了。
不想坚持知道答案了。
就当作什么都不是。

句点。

A night of madness at Butter Factory. Lots of drinks, lots of dancing, lots of man and woman, lot of smiles and laughters.

Really a night of madness..... lolx

决定了。。。 让一切有完美的句点。 :)

如果你想起我，你会想到什么？

也许对我来讲，我是在赌。赌一个希望，赌他说的是假的。 虽然输得几率很大，不过没办法不赌这一把。

半梦半醒

我选择了回到梦里去。
去到了一个根本不应该存在的世界。在那梦幻的世界里，我开心的笑，我轻松自在的玩，有了失去的温柔，有了杀那间的关怀，心里甜甜的感觉。

这次的梦，不知何时会醒来。醒来后的我，会是怎样。。。

I don't know what is happening.... I don't even know how exactly I feel. Ever since then when I sat in my car and cried for god knows how long and unable to move, I haven't shed a single tear about it anymore. Has my tears dried up since then?

And no.... I haven't even thought much about it. I hadn't the urge to run back to him. Was it all really just a fiction of my imagination? Had I really felt what I felt back then? Was this a form of self protection of not wanting to think anymore? Or is it that I have got no more emotions left it me?

Drained out dry......

It flashes so quickly through my mind that I don't even know if that was what I thought. Consciously or sub-consciously, I may be trying to block out whatever are those thoughts to make myself feel better. Maybe.... I dunno....

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Seems like I'm still doing fine. Maybe it was really a dream after all.....

梦醒了

就像做了一场梦一样，醒来后，什么都不是真的，什么都没有。回到了现实的生活，还是自己一个人面对，一个人承受。在梦里，分不清对错，分不清真假。 在梦里，所有的事情都很完美，所有的温柔也都特别的温柔。现在却只能回味。 随着时间，随着回忆，一切都会慢慢的淡去。

梦醒了，一切都好残酷。。。

It felt so right and so wrong at the same time.....
He felt so familiar and unfamiliar.....
So many old memories running thru and new thoughts at the same time.

Can't believe it's happening but glad it is. Haven't felt this way for a long time.... I seems to have forgotten how it felt.

Missing it... missing him..... it seems to come back all at once. Not sure.... confuse.... undecided..... unsure....

But happy i think.....

是否还清一切？是这样吗？

Day with Sunshine, Sea and Sand

Stealing some time away from work and other matters, I went to Sentosa with Julia and Kel. Haven't feel this relax for quite a while. =) Kel have always wanted to go take some photos at Sentosa and just nice Julia and me are free. So we got ourselves ready and off we went.

Sentosa have changed a lot since I went there in my much younger days. The IR construction and other hotel constructions are everywhere. Since it is so different now, we were a bit unsure where to go. So the 3 of us spent a lot of time taking the tram here and there.

We didn't do much. We went for lunch at Coastes which was where Jas and I went when we stayed at the Siloso Resort for our anniversary. I think I'm now hook on their chicken wing. It's very nice!!! serve with Belachan chilli. Wah lau, i wanted to ta bao the chilli back sia..... After that we just hang out and one of the beach pub and while Kel took professional pics with his SLR, Julia and I took mediocre pictures with my handphone. Lolx! But hor, my new handphone LG Renoir the quality of the pics not bad lah.... Proofs as follow....... (hehehhee)

On the beach tram

Julia posing for the camera and me trying to take some artistic shots.

We MMS this photo to Angela who is busy working with the messaging. "Are you at work? We are at the Beach!!!" just to irritate her. hahahhaha!
And proof that the 3 of us were there.....

On this Night....

How it accumulate to this wasn't a surprise..... Just like any other human being there is only so much he can take. Tonight I saw him lost, not knowing what to do, unable to make any proper decisions. He just wants an outlet to disappear and not care.

Me.... I can't take the suppressing pressure. I cannot decide in or out. I said all I can, in exchange, he replied that "if only I had said all these earlier" It's always the question of "if only". I blame him for not understanding me enough to know that I wouldn't walk away. But I didn't consider that I might hv took it for granted tat he would understand. 2 words - Communication Breakdown. Just like any others.........

在不知不觉当中，我已经习惯每晚都有他在我身边。就算只是彼此躺着什么也不说。。。 对我来说都是一种安慰。
昨晚，他不在，我是空虚的。我是害怕的。

不想再留不住了。我应该承受不了。。。

I can feel the impending doom.

Will I ride through it or will I fall into it?

Blank.....

See no light at the moment.

I finally pass my driving. On the fourth time.......
Looking damn forward to getting my car.

I'm still alive....

Just dun feel like writing. Nothing happens... nothing to update. Can't say i'm happy, can't say i'm not.
Probably am in a state of inert.
That's all.