Trapped

Fallen into the realm of darkness
Shrouded by the sense of self-pity
Lured by the temptations
Addicted to the pleasure of sins
Not breaking out from the cycle
Trapped in within

When will it come to an end?

好久不见

勉强是没有幸福的。。。 体会到了这句话的意思。
放下了，果然是比较轻松，开朗，开心。
也许也是因为有了一个完整的结束，所以比较容易松手。

今天的我和他，今天的她和他， 今天的我和她。。。。 是如此美丽，如此自然。=)
今天的我，笑得特别真。好久不见的快乐，好像回来了。

Will be moving back into the events industry. Something that I am familiar with, something my forte. This time will be more into the conference events hence not so many weekends burnt. Feeling rather excited to be moving back after doing sales for 1 and half yrs. Although the money is good, but it is super tiring and tedious.

Hate the feeling of having to spend the entire out there. I miss the days where I can sit in the office and enjoy the aircon and being on msn connected with everyone else. Soon..... counting down the days when I can say goodbye to my boss. :p

I've been going through my blog again, going through what I have written, what I have felt and what were my thoughts in the past years and as I was reading, many things are running through my mind.

I realise throughout so many years, there have always been constant mention of him. It's really like a roller coaster ride. Like how for a moment I would be feeling like I'm so in love with him and then a couple of months later I am so convinced that I have gotten him out of my life. I guess the truth is, no matter what, whether I like it or not, he has already become part of my life. He will always be a constant reminder. I just have to deal with it.

It was really difficult and painful the night before. It's really like an addiction that I'm trying my best to wean off. But left with no choice, I still can cut it out. And the morning after, I feel the sense of relief that I have finally broke out from it. And that leaves me to deal with the bigger problem which is also the crucial problem right from the start.

But this is where I feel helpless. I dunno how to move ahead from here. Reading through what I wrote in my blog, I come to understand that I really do love this man I married. What we have gone through together wasn't just child's play. The reason why I chose him wasn't for fun either. He has given me enough love to warrant that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him. And vice versa, I love him enough to be able to go through all these difficult years. I love him enough to give whatever I can. And these I did without resentment for I can feel what we both feel.

At this crossroad junction, we both feel lost. Maybe without directions. Maybe blinded by whatever I do not know. To get over this hurdle, we both need to put in effort. We both need to find back the lost feelings. I dunno how to do it, but we need to do it.

How we gonna do it, I totally have no clue...... Probably again we might hv to leave it to time... to fate.... to watever... Or maybe we can talk through. Whatever it is, I will put in my best effort, just for one more time at least.

God bless......

剧终。。。