I'm still in the office....
Just finish a long meeting. Lots of things to follow-up tomorrow.... Gonna be a busy day again. So for now, I'm gonna enjoy myself first.
Off to a shopping trip with Jac. =P
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Time Zooms so Quickly
This 2 weeks have passed extremely. Everyday at work has been so busy and on so many days I find time is just not enough. I dun even have the time and energy to go for yoga class. I only went on Fri and yesterday this week. Must make up for it next week.
Things are pretty much running on a routine. Nothing extraordinary... Life goes on the way it does..... After telling me he wants to give the r/s another try and me replying I need some time to sort things out, we both left it as that.
I think both of us doesn't know how to broach on the subject. Maybe some time for both of us to think we we actually wan out of the r/s would be a good idea. We'll talk again when both of us are ready.
Weekend is almost over. It would be another busy day at work tml......
Things are pretty much running on a routine. Nothing extraordinary... Life goes on the way it does..... After telling me he wants to give the r/s another try and me replying I need some time to sort things out, we both left it as that.
I think both of us doesn't know how to broach on the subject. Maybe some time for both of us to think we we actually wan out of the r/s would be a good idea. We'll talk again when both of us are ready.
Weekend is almost over. It would be another busy day at work tml......
Monday, June 12, 2006
Emotionless
Ya... it's indeed surprising how calm I am.... I'm so calm till I feel scared too. For feeling so unfeeling... I seems to have lost all emotions.
The words kept replaying in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it.... It surrounds me and haunts me. I am clueless wat I shld do. All of a sudden, there's like a huge distance between us. There are so much I wanna say. Yet I dunno where to start. There's so many things I wan him to understand but I can't put it across....
Maybe we shld give each other some time to think things thru. But I'm afraid, time will only bring us apart even further and not heal like it's suppose to.
It's another sleepless night tonight......
The words kept replaying in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it.... It surrounds me and haunts me. I am clueless wat I shld do. All of a sudden, there's like a huge distance between us. There are so much I wanna say. Yet I dunno where to start. There's so many things I wan him to understand but I can't put it across....
Maybe we shld give each other some time to think things thru. But I'm afraid, time will only bring us apart even further and not heal like it's suppose to.
It's another sleepless night tonight......
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Why?!
It's a rainy and gloomy day out there.... Just like how I am feeling right now......
Jas and I had our long overdue talk this morning at 6am after we reach home from mj. He had sms sometime back saying we haven really had a good talk for quite a while and shld probably do so. When I saw the msg, I already felt something wasn't quite right. And yes... it's nt alright.....
I called him after I had bathe and getting ready for bed. Asked him what is it exactly he wans to talk about. He said, " I think it's time you look for someone better." The words came as a surprise and it hit me hard. I asked him why, he says he no longer has the faith that he can gimme what I wan in our relationship. He knows I have been giving way and has been very patient, he jus cannot bear to see me waiting and waiting for something that I really wan and he cannot give. He thinks I deserve better and shld probably move on. He says I'm no longer young, how long more am I gonna waste my time with him. He doesn't want to be selfish..... I have no words to reply him.
Jas says the next guy I look for, it has to be better than him. And while I have not met the next guy, he would continue to care for me, take care of me and love me just as before. He cannot bear to let me go, but he have to.....
What is this?! I dun understand..... So many times, I was the one who had wanted to leave but each time he was the one who had insisted that everything is gonna be alright. He told me before that good things dun come easily and that as long as we have faith, we will get what we wish for. And now?! He's telling me to give up. Just when recently I had the courage to forget the past and move on, he tells me to let go.
Can anyone feel my helplessness and me conflicting emotions? Can anyone tell me where to go from here? Can someone help me? I am totally .... totally down and out. Someone help me pls.... Tell me what to do pls. Why is all this happening?
It pains him to see me tolerating all the pressures I have from both his family and mine, it pains me the same to have him tell me his decision. We both know how hard it will be for us. I seems to have lost the light in my life suddenly. It's scary... Am I to accept all this? To take on this status of "Attached but Available" status?
爱情真的不能当饭吃. He told me de....
This is killing me.... This really will....
Jas and I had our long overdue talk this morning at 6am after we reach home from mj. He had sms sometime back saying we haven really had a good talk for quite a while and shld probably do so. When I saw the msg, I already felt something wasn't quite right. And yes... it's nt alright.....
I called him after I had bathe and getting ready for bed. Asked him what is it exactly he wans to talk about. He said, " I think it's time you look for someone better." The words came as a surprise and it hit me hard. I asked him why, he says he no longer has the faith that he can gimme what I wan in our relationship. He knows I have been giving way and has been very patient, he jus cannot bear to see me waiting and waiting for something that I really wan and he cannot give. He thinks I deserve better and shld probably move on. He says I'm no longer young, how long more am I gonna waste my time with him. He doesn't want to be selfish..... I have no words to reply him.
Jas says the next guy I look for, it has to be better than him. And while I have not met the next guy, he would continue to care for me, take care of me and love me just as before. He cannot bear to let me go, but he have to.....
What is this?! I dun understand..... So many times, I was the one who had wanted to leave but each time he was the one who had insisted that everything is gonna be alright. He told me before that good things dun come easily and that as long as we have faith, we will get what we wish for. And now?! He's telling me to give up. Just when recently I had the courage to forget the past and move on, he tells me to let go.
Can anyone feel my helplessness and me conflicting emotions? Can anyone tell me where to go from here? Can someone help me? I am totally .... totally down and out. Someone help me pls.... Tell me what to do pls. Why is all this happening?
It pains him to see me tolerating all the pressures I have from both his family and mine, it pains me the same to have him tell me his decision. We both know how hard it will be for us. I seems to have lost the light in my life suddenly. It's scary... Am I to accept all this? To take on this status of "Attached but Available" status?
爱情真的不能当饭吃. He told me de....
This is killing me.... This really will....
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Mid Week Wednesday!
It's already Mid-Week....
Looking forward to weekend. =) Going for Yoga again after work this evening. Doing Hatha with a different teacher this time, female teacher. Wonder how would it be.
Wah lau! I was super tired on Monday so when I was doing the Yoga, I cannot do a lot of pose. Whenever got the chance to lie down hor, I almost fell asleep. Jia lat sia! Hehe! I think Sinta misses Yoga. She's looking forward to do it again. But she has to do pre-natal. Haha! Maybe I can join her hor. It shld be so much easier than normal yoga. Lolx!
Feeling very full now.... wanna zzzz.... Had a very nice lunch at The Sandwich Shop jus now. I had their Honey Chicken Wrap and a Banana Caramel Yoghurt. Yummy.... I feel so healthy. The yoghurt very nice. Sour and sweet.... shld hv bought 1 more to leave in the office as snack. Nvm... will do that tml. ;p
Back to work now.....
Looking forward to weekend. =) Going for Yoga again after work this evening. Doing Hatha with a different teacher this time, female teacher. Wonder how would it be.
Wah lau! I was super tired on Monday so when I was doing the Yoga, I cannot do a lot of pose. Whenever got the chance to lie down hor, I almost fell asleep. Jia lat sia! Hehe! I think Sinta misses Yoga. She's looking forward to do it again. But she has to do pre-natal. Haha! Maybe I can join her hor. It shld be so much easier than normal yoga. Lolx!
Feeling very full now.... wanna zzzz.... Had a very nice lunch at The Sandwich Shop jus now. I had their Honey Chicken Wrap and a Banana Caramel Yoghurt. Yummy.... I feel so healthy. The yoghurt very nice. Sour and sweet.... shld hv bought 1 more to leave in the office as snack. Nvm... will do that tml. ;p
Back to work now.....
Monday, June 05, 2006
Most people will know how much i fancy Nicholas Tse. He's so cute. Boyish looking and handsome in those bad boy kinda way. Love to watch his movies and see him smile.
Lots of my guy friends dun like him and say he cannot sing. But hor, i think his voice quite unique leh. Wah lah, tat time when he came Singapore and perform at an event in Yishun, me and my sis almost gone crazy with excitment of seeing him in real person. lolx!
Now hor, there's another guy who's slowly taking over his place in my heart. haha! And tat is 贺军翔。 hehe! After watching the 恶魔在身边, I am completely crazy over him ah. Maybe it's the character (阿猛）tat makes me head over heels in love with him. Cause he's those kinda bad boy with a good heart and extremely sentimental. Though he has the bo chup attitude, but he knows how to show his true feelings to a girl he loves. Aw..... Just thinking of it... aw.... So many times when I was watching the drama, I wanted to crawl into the tv. Why am I not Rainie Yang. Heard that she and 贺军翔 are good friends. haiz...
Well.... that's him.... =) Cool sia.... I jus have a soft spot for bad boys... Haiz.... 男人不坏，女人不爱。 hahahahahahaha!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
On a Sunday Afternoon
Woke up at 11am.... Then was lying in bed thinking, shld I or shld I not go for yoga. Feeling kinda lazy, so I dropped the idea. Will go do some Hatha after work tomorrow.
Later Jas in coming to pick me and my parents up. We nd to go over to my grandfather's place to pick up some stuff and then go for dinner. Maybe go Geylang eat at 126. My favourite Tim Sum place.... Hehe! Love the Ha Gaos there. Yummy! mmmm.... lolx!
Recently, there has been a spate of unhappiness all happening at the same time. Haiz... Good things never come in twos but bad things always like tat. Y leh? But anyway, I wanna put everything behind..... It's time to wrap up everything and end it......
Hope next week will be better. =)
Later Jas in coming to pick me and my parents up. We nd to go over to my grandfather's place to pick up some stuff and then go for dinner. Maybe go Geylang eat at 126. My favourite Tim Sum place.... Hehe! Love the Ha Gaos there. Yummy! mmmm.... lolx!
Recently, there has been a spate of unhappiness all happening at the same time. Haiz... Good things never come in twos but bad things always like tat. Y leh? But anyway, I wanna put everything behind..... It's time to wrap up everything and end it......
Hope next week will be better. =)
A Different Weekend
This weekend certainly feels so different. Hehe! I'm home super early on both Fri and Sat. Though it feels kinda wierd, since normally Fridays I play mj till damn late and reach home exhausted, but somehow, I feel a sense of accomplishment? Lolx! Cause since I'm home early on Fri, I slept early too. So hor, Sat I woke up early too.
I'll usually sleep till like 1 or 2pm, sometimes 3pm on Sat. But just now, I woke up at a record time of 9.30am. Then I planned my agenda of the day.....
I slowly pack all the stuff I nd for yoga and get prepared to go out. I went over to Stella's salon for a haircut first. I've longed wanted to cut short my fringe but hv been lazy to go so since there's so much time I took a walk over to the salon. I ask Stella whether I shld straighten my hair but she say dun wan lah, the curls still so nice. Say maybe wait for 1 or 2 mths later then decide either to perm again or straighten lor. So she cut my fringe short and layer the back on my hair. So there... I got a new hairstyle. =)
After tat, I proceeded to Orchard to do some shopping before my yoga class..... Since it's the GSS, there so many people there. Wanna try clothes oso difficult ah. So i jus look look see see lor.
I attended Power Yoga class today. Wah lau... so tiring, but the workout sure feels good. Can feel the muscles in my whole body being stretched. Shiok! Hehe! After that, I took my time to shower and prep myself up. Then it was more shopping. The only thing I bought today was a skirt. Quite nice. Can wear to work or can wear it out on casual dates. Thought GSS can get some cheap clothes yet in the end the one I chose is not on sale de. Sianz...
Went back to Jas hse after the shopping cause Pat wanted to see Mao Mao. We planned to celebrate Mao's bday on 2nd Jul at Sentosa. It would be a doggie gathering. Haha! Lots of doggie going. It's gonna be fun man. Lolx! After Pat left, Jas and I went to meet Kel for dinner. Nothing special lah. Ate and AMK then it was Home Sweet Home. It feels good to spend a Sat quietly, once in a while. It's like getting in touch with myself. Some people might feel, "Aw... wat a boring Saturday." But to me, it's not... I get to do wat I wan to do at my own will without rush and hassle. It feels.....peaceful.... =) It feels nice.....
Oh well, since I'm back early again today.... I think I'm gonna wake up early and go for some more yoga tml. Hmm.... Shld I or Shld I not? A bit lazy leh, but if i'm gonna wake up early again, y not hor? See how lah.... I go check out the schedule again.
I'll usually sleep till like 1 or 2pm, sometimes 3pm on Sat. But just now, I woke up at a record time of 9.30am. Then I planned my agenda of the day.....
I slowly pack all the stuff I nd for yoga and get prepared to go out. I went over to Stella's salon for a haircut first. I've longed wanted to cut short my fringe but hv been lazy to go so since there's so much time I took a walk over to the salon. I ask Stella whether I shld straighten my hair but she say dun wan lah, the curls still so nice. Say maybe wait for 1 or 2 mths later then decide either to perm again or straighten lor. So she cut my fringe short and layer the back on my hair. So there... I got a new hairstyle. =)
After tat, I proceeded to Orchard to do some shopping before my yoga class..... Since it's the GSS, there so many people there. Wanna try clothes oso difficult ah. So i jus look look see see lor.
I attended Power Yoga class today. Wah lau... so tiring, but the workout sure feels good. Can feel the muscles in my whole body being stretched. Shiok! Hehe! After that, I took my time to shower and prep myself up. Then it was more shopping. The only thing I bought today was a skirt. Quite nice. Can wear to work or can wear it out on casual dates. Thought GSS can get some cheap clothes yet in the end the one I chose is not on sale de. Sianz...
Went back to Jas hse after the shopping cause Pat wanted to see Mao Mao. We planned to celebrate Mao's bday on 2nd Jul at Sentosa. It would be a doggie gathering. Haha! Lots of doggie going. It's gonna be fun man. Lolx! After Pat left, Jas and I went to meet Kel for dinner. Nothing special lah. Ate and AMK then it was Home Sweet Home. It feels good to spend a Sat quietly, once in a while. It's like getting in touch with myself. Some people might feel, "Aw... wat a boring Saturday." But to me, it's not... I get to do wat I wan to do at my own will without rush and hassle. It feels.....peaceful.... =) It feels nice.....
Oh well, since I'm back early again today.... I think I'm gonna wake up early and go for some more yoga tml. Hmm.... Shld I or Shld I not? A bit lazy leh, but if i'm gonna wake up early again, y not hor? See how lah.... I go check out the schedule again.
Tata!
Friday, June 02, 2006
东西不见了，我要那里找回来？
When something is lost, I guess it's lost forever. No matter how much effort I try to recover it back, I just can't. It refuses to be found.....
At noon today, I know it's gone.....
I feel thoroughly defeated. A part of me, seems to have seeped out of me. Disappeared.... I know I've lost it. Lost a friendship which I didn't learn to cherish. Lost a friend who was once so impt to me, a friend whom we had so much memories together. Yet.... it was me, myself who lost it. Now, everything has become lost memories.
It's hard to describe the way I feel inside me. There are too many feelings which words just cannot describe. I feel hurt, but since I was the one who did wrong in the first place, why shld I have the right to feel hurt? I feel disappointed, but I should have expected this disappointment. The feelings I have doesn't seems to be right. I am helpless. Ya... helpless is the word. There is nothing left for me to do.
I have to let go now, no? Yes I have to..... I have no other choice. Or maybe I shld say, I'm left with no other choice......
Yes.... it's gone....
At noon today, I know it's gone.....
I feel thoroughly defeated. A part of me, seems to have seeped out of me. Disappeared.... I know I've lost it. Lost a friendship which I didn't learn to cherish. Lost a friend who was once so impt to me, a friend whom we had so much memories together. Yet.... it was me, myself who lost it. Now, everything has become lost memories.
It's hard to describe the way I feel inside me. There are too many feelings which words just cannot describe. I feel hurt, but since I was the one who did wrong in the first place, why shld I have the right to feel hurt? I feel disappointed, but I should have expected this disappointment. The feelings I have doesn't seems to be right. I am helpless. Ya... helpless is the word. There is nothing left for me to do.
I have to let go now, no? Yes I have to..... I have no other choice. Or maybe I shld say, I'm left with no other choice......
Yes.... it's gone....
Thursday, June 01, 2006
这样行吗？
两个人在一起，真的只要有爱情就够了吗?
有时候，好想什么都不理。但是,好难哦。。。 我能坚决地继续下去吗？还能等多久呢？
我不知道。。。。 我很矛盾。常会同时觉得很开心，很满足。不过也会在同时，觉得这些幸福感觉带给我的压力。 我害怕。害怕这样的生活很快就没了。
不知道。。。 可能我太悲观了。。。
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