Sunshine after the Rain

After the period of "pre-marriage jitters", depressions or whatever else you can call it. I'm finally more or less settled and at east.

Jas and I have finally booked our date for "D" day! Went back to the bridal studio yesterday also to check out more of their designs and chose one that is nice but simple. Nothing too elaborate. Now.... I am looking all forward to that day. =)

Lots of people went with me yesterday. The entire group of us lor... lots of opinions flying around and the lady was very nice to keep showing us the dresses. Jac and Angela was most helpful giving their comments making sure I choose the one I like most. They guys? haiz.... they dunno how to appreciate de. Lolx!

I ordered a earring rack and I got them on Friday. Went back home and started to hang my earring collection on the rack.

Ta Dah!!!! Nice nice!

I still got a lot of space left and that only means one thing.... Time to buy more earrings to fill them up. Hehe! I like earrings. The most simple outfit can be jazz up by just a pair of nice earring. It can be a simple one, a loud one or a wacky one, depending on how I wanna look. So yes.... I gotta get more earrings. hehehe!

Hmm... other than earrings... the next stuff I gotta hunt for would be heels to go with my gown and shirt for Jas. He also needs belt and shoes.... Seems like quite a lot of things required still. 3 more months... 3 more months.... =p

Another round of quarrel.... leading to more unhappiness.

As this carries on, I really wonder what it will lead to. Plans that were discussed for so long.... will it all be put into action or jus like before it will all *poof* disappear to nowhere.

Again, I sound as if I'm on repeat mode: "I'm tired...."

Emotional Rollercoaster

This couple of weeks, I seems to be on an emotional rollercoaster....feeling happy and good and the next minute, feeling all tired, unhappy and insecure. I have been getting easily irritable too. Wierd thoughts running through my head at random timings.

Lacking of proper sleep seems to make the whole situation even worse. It's not that I haven been sleeping. I have! Just that I'll only manage to get to sleep really late... or should I say extremely early in the morning. What makes it worse are the really wierd dreams that I keep having.

Are all these due to stress?

I know it can't really be coming much from work stress cause these few weeks hadn't been much projects at all. Maybe is this pre-ROM jitters? Or is it that I am having second thoughts? Is all these normal? I know Joei was still doubting her decision 2 months ago when she was about to be officially a "Mrs". And I was still telling her that she thinks too much and shld jus relax..... Now I totally can understand it.

Maybe it is a form of fear..... Afterall, I am taking a very very big step into next stage of life. Plus the road ahead seems kinda fuzzy.... Then again, am I the only one who is getting jittery? I wonder if Jas is feeling the same way but doesn't tell me or show it.

Just now when I was playing mahjong, I started to have a lot of thoughts. And it all just seems to envelope around me and I was totally lost in those feelings. I feel damn isolated from the rest. I had the strong thought that no one in this world understands me. I have the extreme strong urge to talk to someone about myself, about how I feel but I dunno who to call.
Suddenly, I feel so alone. Like as if, I am the only person.

Maybe I'm just tired... Physically and mentally.... Frankly, I really feel super insecure. I'm losing confidence in a lot of things. I feel myself slipping away..... and slipping right into this "depression mode" of mine. I desperately wanna snap out of it.... But I dunno how.....

I hate it whenever I feel this way.... Things stays at its lousiest for a long time. *sianz*