Emotional Rollercoaster

This couple of weeks, I seems to be on an emotional rollercoaster....feeling happy and good and the next minute, feeling all tired, unhappy and insecure. I have been getting easily irritable too. Wierd thoughts running through my head at random timings.

Lacking of proper sleep seems to make the whole situation even worse. It's not that I haven been sleeping. I have! Just that I'll only manage to get to sleep really late... or should I say extremely early in the morning. What makes it worse are the really wierd dreams that I keep having.

Are all these due to stress?

I know it can't really be coming much from work stress cause these few weeks hadn't been much projects at all. Maybe is this pre-ROM jitters? Or is it that I am having second thoughts? Is all these normal? I know Joei was still doubting her decision 2 months ago when she was about to be officially a "Mrs". And I was still telling her that she thinks too much and shld jus relax..... Now I totally can understand it.

Maybe it is a form of fear..... Afterall, I am taking a very very big step into next stage of life. Plus the road ahead seems kinda fuzzy.... Then again, am I the only one who is getting jittery? I wonder if Jas is feeling the same way but doesn't tell me or show it.

Just now when I was playing mahjong, I started to have a lot of thoughts. And it all just seems to envelope around me and I was totally lost in those feelings. I feel damn isolated from the rest. I had the strong thought that no one in this world understands me. I have the extreme strong urge to talk to someone about myself, about how I feel but I dunno who to call.
Suddenly, I feel so alone. Like as if, I am the only person.

Maybe I'm just tired... Physically and mentally.... Frankly, I really feel super insecure. I'm losing confidence in a lot of things. I feel myself slipping away..... and slipping right into this "depression mode" of mine. I desperately wanna snap out of it.... But I dunno how.....

I hate it whenever I feel this way.... Things stays at its lousiest for a long time. *sianz*